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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The graph opposite shows the destination of New Zealand's goods exports between 1973 and 2002. Summaries te information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

The graph opposite shows the destination of New Zealand's goods exports between 1973 and 2002. Summaries te information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.
#destination #zealand #goods #exports #summaries #te #information #features #comparisons
The chart illustrates the information about destiny export
stuffs
Fix the agreement mistake
stuff
show examples
 of New Zealand in the period between 1974 and 2002.
Overall
, it is clear from the graph that all these countries experience different terms.
Rest
Correct article usage
The rest
show examples
 of
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
 and the UK show the biggest change during
this
 time frame.
While
 the figures for Japan,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and Australia show several
fluctuation
Change to a plural noun
fluctuations
show examples
. The total merchandise in the Rest of
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
 showed a significant increase. It began to account for about 38 in 1973 to 49 in 2002.
However
,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1983 until 1992 it remained stable at 48 stuffs.
While
 the UK had a big change between 1973 and 2002, which is in 1973 the total
sell
Replace the word
sales
show examples
 abroad was
plumet
Correct your spelling
plummet
 from 37 things to approximately 5 goods. The export in Japan was almost steady in 1973 it was 11.
However
, it was constant
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1983 to 1992 about 12 and a small drop to 11.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Australia shows the total export started at 15 in 1973 and finished at 29 with some inconsistent.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 it happen in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 that the transport began at approximately 14 to around 12 in 2002 with some trend.
Submitted by gabriellasada24 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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