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Band 5.5

In many countries, more and more people are becoming overweight. What do you think are the main causes of this? What effects might this have in the future? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#countries #people #effects #future
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It is true that in many nations lots of citizens are overweight. The following essay will provide the underlying causes and effect
why
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of why
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 I tend to agree with that idea. There are many reasons why the population in several countries tend to make their life-style
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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easy or instant, especially in developing countries that are busy with industrial life.
Firstly
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, workers that are busy at their job don't have time to prepare their fresh food before going out.
Therefore
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, they tend to get instant food that contains many
glukose
Correct your spelling
glucose
, carbohydrates, and other kinds of ingredients that could affect them to lose ideal
weight
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, people lack exercise or
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 sport when they have free time after stress at the office. One thing that humans must do is that wasting time by taking a sleep, or leisure at a place will make us lazy and don’t burn our calories.
To sum up
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, many people will become fat.
It is clear that
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, without consuming fresh food or doing exercise, many people could have an impact
in
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on
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 their life.
Initially
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, they will push themselves to waste money to order courses in the
sport
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sports
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 facilities
such
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 as gym and swimming.
Therefore
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, they will lose a lot of money to buy teachers.
On the other hand
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, those who work in the office will be more lazy and tired to do many jobs that they are responsible for.
Subsequently
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, for many industries that need workers with ideal
Use synonyms
weight
Add a comma
,weight
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 it becomes hard to find because of the lack of humans with that criteria.
For example
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, salesmen who have a strict type
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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get an ideal
weight
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, it will impact those who lack activities out of the priority as a worker. In conclusion, for everyone who has a high
Use synonyms
weight
Add a comma
,weight
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 it happens because something that they often do that they know must be running out of it.
Therefore
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, it would impact
for
Change preposition
apply
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their lives in the future.
Submitted by gabriellasada24 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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