Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#parents #child #influence #role #development

There is no doubt that a parent's duty is to safeguard and protect their children.

This

is a norm, but apart from that, worldly experiences

also

shape their personal growth. I strongly agree with the above statement, and I will

further

emphasize my position in the following essay. As we know already, parents provide children with basic requirements

such

as food, shelter, education etc. Our parents have provided us with that plus we have

also

learnt certain morals from them.

While

this

is true, you can

also

notice some differences in their personalities when they grow up.

This

is because they learn different things from new people in schools, colleges, etc.

For example

, in the current era,

kids

these days are observed to be more mature than their family members owing to the evolution of the internet and social media.

This

trend has been triggering a significant amount of mindset change in younger people nowadays.

Secondly

, there are many families where

kids

prove to be more successful than their immediate family members as they sometimes pursue ambitions which their family opposes. These are

due to

their personal desires, which they develop through their experience in schools or colleges.

Besides

that, some people

also

get inspired by the societal problems they face and aspire to pursue a career similar to that of their friends.

For example

, many

kids

who study abroad during their younger age become more mature than their family members and possess different personal values that of their family. These all changes are happening because their personal struggles have changed their mindset.

Hence

, it is ideal to say that outside influences mould them the most. In conclusion,

although

parents teach us important morals with basic survival needs, most of their personalities are shaped by their own experiences. If you notice, some

kids

suffer from personality disorders

such

as autism, anxiety, etc., because they might have been raised around their family environment only and

due to

this

, they might lack some social skills.

Therefore

, I believe that it is more acceptable to say that outside influences affect them majorly.

Submitted by hemaecengineer on Sat Jul 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

Use topic sentences to clearly introduce each paragraph and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point.

task response

Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the question and presents a clear position. Develop each main point with specific examples and elaborate on how these examples support the main argument.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

349 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices, to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

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school ahould be stopp using books for teaching as they find them boring , use film tv and computer instead. to what extent do you agree qith this

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?