IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The development of cooperative
skills
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 in
children
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 is often seen as crucial for their future success and social integration. One popular method for fostering these
skills
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 is through participation in
team
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sports
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 at
school
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.
While
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 I agree that
team
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sports
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 play an essential role in teaching
children
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 to cooperate, I believe that it is not the only method, and other approaches can
also
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 be highly effective.
Team
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sports
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 undeniably offer a unique environment where
children
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 learn the importance of
cooperation
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. When playing
sports
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such
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 as football, basketball, or volleyball,
children
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 must
work
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 together to achieve a common goal, which fosters a sense of teamwork and collective responsibility.
For instance
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, in football, every player has a specific role that contributes to the
overall
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 success of the
team
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, teaching
children
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 that their individual efforts are crucial but must be coordinated with others to be effective.
This
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 experience helps
children
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 understand the dynamics of working in a group, which is a valuable skill in both their personal and professional lives.
However
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,
while
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team
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sports
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 are beneficial, they are not the only way to teach
cooperation
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. Classroom
activities
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,
such
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 as group projects or collaborative problem-solving exercises, can
also
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 effectively promote cooperative
skills
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.
For example
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, when
children
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work
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 on a science project together, they must divide tasks, share ideas, and support each other’s efforts to complete the assignment successfully.
Such
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activities
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 encourage communication, negotiation, and compromise, all of which are critical components of
cooperation
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.
Moreover
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, these
activities
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 can be tailored to include
children
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 who may not be interested in or physically capable of participating in
sports
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, ensuring that everyone has the opportunity to develop cooperative
skills
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.
Furthermore
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,
cooperation
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 can
also
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 be instilled through non-competitive
activities
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,
such
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 as
school
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 clubs, community service, or arts and crafts groups. These settings allow
children
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 to
work
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 together in a less pressured environment, where the focus is not on winning but on achieving a shared goal,
such
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 as organizing a
school
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 event or creating a group artwork.
This
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 approach helps
children
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 learn to appreciate the value of working together without the stress of competition, which can sometimes be overwhelming in
sports
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. In conclusion,
while
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team
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sports
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 at
school
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 are an effective way to teach
children
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 the importance of
cooperation
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, they should not be seen as the sole method. A variety of
activities
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, both competitive and non-competitive, can equally foster cooperative
skills
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 in
children
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. By offering diverse opportunities for collaboration, schools can ensure that all
children
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, regardless of their interests or abilities, can learn to
work
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 effectively with others.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To potentially boost your score further, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs to make your essay even more fluid.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant and well-explained, try to use a wider variety of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your argument even more compelling.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view on the topic, adequately acknowledging the value of team sports while also emphasizing the importance of other methods for teaching cooperation.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported with specific examples, making your arguments more persuasive and easier to follow.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
What to do next:
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