Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime

Adolescents mostly lack experience and sometimes are curious about illegal problems or behaviours to prove or satisfy themself.

However

, they have not had enough awareness so the majority often argue that the most suitable people to talk to offspring about the dangers of committing a crime are the ones who have been in prison and

then

become good citizens later. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

way of thinking. Indeed, ex-offender often is the one who has seen through the downside - look at illegal behaviours or the weight of sentences so

that is

the reason why they could carry out the advice and warning to the youth.

For instance

, hearing true stories in prison about treatments and other sentences they have to face

such

as corporal punishment or capital punishment, etc… could help children realize that embarking on crime is a fully thoughtless action. The reality of life and the shocking nature of these stories is obvious to make a powerful impact. Another reason to prove

this

opinion is other people are not the most suitable for

this

position.

Firstly

, police officers who are strictly warning and educating, sometimes compel children to do the right thing without explanations.

Next,

parents’ advice is untruthful and unconvincing because of the lack of information they have. Teachers are

also

the ones who could persuade children,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

it is hard to give real experience and take control of most students’ activities in part of their own life. Youngsters should take responsibility for their life and give decisions so the most impact on their way of thought is real people

as well as

ex-prisoner. In conclusion, it is unquestionable when it comes to the decision that ex-offender that have made a fresh start can be a speaker in order to improve and educate adolescents' behaviours.

Submitted by canthaison on Sat Jul 01 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

prisoners
rehabilitation
recidivism
consequences
insights
deterrent
guidance
support
role models
positive change

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Some people believe that range of technology currently is increasing gap between rich and poor people. Others think that it is causing opposite . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from government than students in other fields (eg. business, language, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that international trade and communication with other countries is a positive trend, while others think it is harmful to nations and they might lose their identities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and relevant examples.