Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Adolescents mostly lack experience and sometimes are curious about illegal problems or behaviours to prove or satisfy themself.
However
, they have not had enough awareness so the majority often argue that the most suitable people to talk to offspring about the dangers of committing a crime are the ones who have been in prison and
then
become good citizens later. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
way of thinking. Indeed, ex-offender often is the one who has seen through the downside - look at illegal behaviours or the weight of sentences so
that is
the reason why they could carry out the advice and warning to the youth.
For instance
, hearing true stories in prison about treatments and other sentences they have to face
such
as corporal punishment or capital punishment, etc… could help children realize that embarking on crime is a fully thoughtless action. The reality of life and the shocking nature of these stories is obvious to make a powerful impact. Another reason to prove
this
opinion is other people are not the most suitable for
this
position.
Firstly
, police officers who are strictly warning and educating, sometimes compel children to do the right thing without explanations.
Next,
parents’ advice is untruthful and unconvincing because of the lack of information they have. Teachers are
also
the ones who could persuade children,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
it is hard to give real experience and take control of most students’ activities in part of their own life. Youngsters should take responsibility for their life and give decisions so the most impact on their way of thought is real people
as well as
ex-prisoner. In conclusion, it is unquestionable when it comes to the decision that ex-offender that have made a fresh start can be a speaker in order to improve and educate adolescents' behaviours.
Submitted by canthaison on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!