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Band 4.5

Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today.

#technology #world
The
Correct article usage
Technology
show examples
technology
 is a concept most important around the world. It can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
solve most of
ours
Correct the word
our
show examples
 problems and questions.
However
, when
talk
Change the form of the verb
talking
show examples
 about
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 is
complicate
Change the form of the verb
complicated
show examples
 to say that it will solve the problems the world face today. In my
Correct your spelling
opinion
oppinion
Add a comma
,oppinion
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 may be the cause of all
large
Correct article usage
the large
show examples
 issues found
together with
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
 effort. First and foremost, our planet is in danger. Wherever you go,
we
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 can see some
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
needed
Wrong verb form
needing
show examples
 some kind of help around the
environment
.
Desforestation
Correct your spelling
Deforestation
 is one of
common
Correct article usage
the common
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 found
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anywhere. In
this
 case, the
technology
participate
Change the verb form
participates
show examples
 whit strong machines, which help to do the job quickly, became a
problema
Correct your spelling
problem
 and not a solution. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
industies
Correct your spelling
industries
 found solutions to them with
technology
 and the world become more sadder to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
Secondly
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time, I think would be
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
 machines
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 help the
environment
 and
poluiton
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
Unfortunatly
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
 we
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 see
this
 around the
wourld
Correct your spelling
world
, ideas about solutions for deforestation, gases and
poluition
Correct your spelling
pollution
 in rivers. More and more, we need to buy water
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 drink. In the past I remember being possible you have water to drink from the fountains, rivers and
faucet
Fix the agreement mistake
faucets
show examples
. Nowadays, is very difficult you see that, become almost impossible. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 is strong,
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 a lot and nowadays is impossible to live without it.
However
, the
wourl
Correct your spelling
world
work
word
 is suffering
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of issues and the
environment
 is becoming weak. I do not know what our place is going to be next
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
.
Submitted by tatianakerches on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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