Some people think that the government is responsible for looking after the elderly. Others believe that it should be family members. Who do you think should take responsibility?

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In recent years, looking after the elderly has been in the spotlight of public attention
as well as
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that of the
government
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.
While
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there are some
people
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who argue with the idea that taking care of the elderly should be family
members
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, I believe more importance should be given to the opinion that the
government
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should have the
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
which is looking after
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. In
this
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essay, the reasons for my argument will be elaborated. On the one hand, many
people
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argue that family
members
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should take after their parents or grandparents.
This
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is because the tax looking after the elderly spends a lot of
money
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.
Although
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a number of family
members
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can take after them, they do not spend their
money
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because the
government
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give
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
supporting
Replace the word
support
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money
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, many experts have become concerned that a lot of
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government's
Correct article usage
the government's
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supporting
Replace the word
support
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money
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are
Change the verb form
is
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wasted because of taking care of the elderly.
For example
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,
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according
accoridng
Correct your spelling
according
to recent research,
On the other hand
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, supporting
moneny
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money
to look after the elderly from the
government
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also
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appears to have a myriad of valid reasons to consider. Many old
people
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living alone suffer from hunger. It is a well-known fact that the elderly are likely to have no
money
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because they cannot work.
In addition
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, there are a number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
people
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who don't have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family
members
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and they tend to dislike
looked
Add a missing verb
being looked
show examples
after
from
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by
show examples
their family
members
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.
For instance
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, in South Korea, the
government
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support the elderly
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money
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with money
show examples
so many elderly can be treated
their
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for their
show examples
disease and
To sum up
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,
although
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the two opposing views have their own strong points, I am of the opinion that the elderly should be supported
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
government
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due to
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the aforementioned above.
Submitted by khj8638 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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