One of the consequences of improved technology is that many jobs that used to be done by people can now be completed by robots or computers. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #technology #jobs #people #robots #computers #development

Talking about

technology

in the current situation of course would have benefits and drawbacks,

moreover

if it is related

with

Change preposition

show examples

the occupation scarcity

due to

the existence of

robots

or computers.

Nevertheless

, explanation of the advantages and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

disadvantages will be explained in the essay below. Day by day

technology

fastly increases,

this

Correct word choice

and this

show examples

is something that

people

or even firms cannot avoid since nowadays they need

technology

such

as smartphones and computers in order to keep working on their responsibility.

For example

, a business company needs to have computers

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which it makes their employees work more comfortably in the office.

Hence

, by having a comfortable situation in the workplace, the company would have a better performance in catching their profit.

In contrast

, the drawback

for

Change preposition

show examples

having improved

technology

is that many

people

may lose opportunities to get jobs

due to

the existence of

robots

Robots

Add a verb

areRobots

wereRobots

show examples

able to do automation activities

such

as scanning, analyzing, and even driving.

Furthermore

, because of these machines, some companies prefer to make a purchase in

robots

rather than pay a monthly salary to

people

For example

, toll road machines may be worked by

robots

because the job is just to scan payments and it means they are able to replace

people

Consequently

, there will be an increasing scarcity of jobs for job seekers. In conclusion, even though

technology

has a very beneficial impact on humans,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

development must be slightly considered so that scarcity does not occur which is detrimental to humans themselves.

Therefore

, the advantages if overbalance the disadvantages.

Submitted by rizalestari on Sun Jul 02 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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One of the consequences of improved technology is that many jobs that used to be done by people can now be completed by robots or computers. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Other value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly. Why is it? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

“In many societies in the world, the population is aging rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”