IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that schools should use teaching methods that encourage students to cooperate. Other people think that schools should use teaching methods that encourage students to compete. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #schools #methods #students
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
 era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
methods
 is being a trend to talk
.
Change preposition
about.
show examples
The one
Correct article usage
One
show examples
 is the
cooperate
Replace the word
cooperative
show examples
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
school
methods
 and the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 is the
compete
Replace the word
competitive
show examples
 student
school
methods
. One of the goals of the
school
 is to graduate their
students
. The
teacher
 is teach them in easy ways that they can understand so they can graduate with a good score. But,
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
also
 need to teach about the character. They need to put it first before anything. The
teacher
 needs to find a method to encourage
students
. There is a lot of way but two of them is to make
students
 cooperate and the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 is to make them compete. The teaching
methods
 that encourage
students
 to cooperate are gonna make them have a feeling
like
Change preposition
of
show examples
 togetherness and more
peaceful
Replace the word
peace
show examples
. They gonna be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
team-working and work in a happy feel. But
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
show examples
 needs to make a lot of group
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and make it simple but great.
This
 kind of method gonna make
students
 humble in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future. The second one,
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 teaching
methods
 that encourage
students
 to compete are gonna make them more spirit to reach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place. They gonna push
theirself
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 until the best limit they ever have. They need to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their motivation and get the chance as much as they need to reach the best.
This
 is great but
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 need to
alert
Add a missing verb
be alert
show examples
 if the
students
already
Add a missing verb
are already
show examples
 tired of
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 and the activity because
compete
Replace the word
competition
show examples
 needs more
self energy
Add a hyphen
self-energy
show examples
.
This
 kind of method gonna make
students
 ambitious.
Overall
, I choose the teaching
methods
 that encourage
students
 to compete because
students
 now
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to push their ability to their best to reach their dreams.
Submitted by rizalestari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: