Some people spend large amount of money to buy tickets for sport or cultural events, it this a positive or negative development.

A lot of

people

Use synonyms

especially teenagers often save up to buy a

ticket

Use synonyms

for a

concern

Correct your spelling

concert

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

event

Use synonyms

. These tickets price are often varied

according

Add the preposition

toaccording

show examples

the type

such

Linking Words

as gold, silver, VIP and else. Nowadays, many

people

Use synonyms

do not mind

to pay

Change the verb form

paying

show examples

a lot of

money

Use synonyms

in order to see their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

event

Use synonyms

. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

kind of

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

can be a good thing but

also

Linking Words

can lead to a negative development for someone. Watching a

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

competition or going to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

concert can become a very enjoyable experience.

Hence

Linking Words

, it can be a good way for someone to reduce their stress.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they can socialize and meet with

people

Use synonyms

with the same interest during

Use synonyms

event

Add an article

the event

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, buying

the

Correct article usage

show examples

expensive

ticket

Use synonyms

can be beneficial if they have enough allowance / have been saving up to buy the

ticket

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, it is not always the case. There are some

people

Use synonyms

who sacrifice their basic needs to buy a

ticket

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, a person who regularly

Correct subject-verb agreement

goes

show examples

the a

Choose an article

the

show examples

concern and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

to borrow some

money

Use synonyms

Change preposition

from

show examples

other to support their basic needs. For these

people

Use synonyms

, going to the

event

Use synonyms

has become a bad influence and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

to be stopped.

In addition

Linking Words

, an

event

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

often offers some

merchandises

Fix the agreement mistake

merchandise

show examples

where

people

Use synonyms

can buy a souvenir which will cost more

money

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

, in my opinion, it is okay to spend some

money

Use synonyms

to buy an

event

Use synonyms

ticket

Use synonyms

if they can afford it.

However

Linking Words

, if it causes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ignorance of their basic need,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

it becomes a bad development

12345678

Jul 2, 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Some people spend large amount of money to buy tickets for sport or cultural events, it this a positive or negative development.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

write an IELTS essay within at least 250 words with the topic "There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?"

: More and more countries have a problem with plastic waste, polluting the countryside and ocean. What problems does it cause? How can these problems be solved?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countries. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweighs the drawbacks?