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Band 5

Many people nowdays live in societies where consumer goods are relatively cheap. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #nowdays #societies #consumer #goods #outweigh
Opinions are
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
 on whether it is more beneficial on detrimental when consumer
goods
 are economical to purchase in
society
Correct article usage
the society
show examples
people
 live in nowadays.
This
 essay will think that the positive effects could
be overshadow
Change the verb form
be overshadowed
show examples
 by the disadvantages. One of the main drawbacks of purchasing
goods
Change preposition
at on
show examples
on
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 economical price is over-purchasing.
For instance
, it has been observed that
people
 end up buying even those things which they do not really need, just
due to
 their low prices.
This
 causes over-spending their hard-earned money resulting in fewer savings. To add to
this
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
consumer
goods
 offer basic capital to the person to buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
so that
people
 would like to purchase cheaper
goods
 to fulfil their demands as much as they could.
Nevertheless
, I am of the view that the
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 impacts of
this
 social movement on affordability and convenience could be important.
Firstly
,
due to
globalisation
Add a comma
,globalisation
show examples
 everything is available in today's markets
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 better
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
,
people
Correct word choice
and people
show examples
 buy
goods
 beyond their limits to look cool or stylish. They purchase branded phones or cars to show off.
Moreover
, we can talk with anyone throughout the globe with the help of
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
. So, the life of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 become more comfortable when we have these
goods
.
Secondly
, a consumer good could handle household work for a person.
For example
, washing machines and microwave ovens for washing clothes and
to cook
Change the verb form
cooking
show examples
 food within seconds respectively. So, we could have more time to save when we own smart
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, regardless of the negative side of the trend, I hold the belief that these could be far
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
 to low price
goods
 in today's society, to which affordability and convenience.
Submitted by hangry.ng11 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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