IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #universities #offer #places #students #marks #ages #school
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It is true that
university
education
 plays an important role in each individual’s professional life.
While
 many people think that only young
students
 with good grades should enter universities, I am more convinced that tertiary
education
 should be made accessible to everyone even if they do not perform well. First of all, I think that the main reason why universities should be limited to young
students
 with high marks only is that a good academic result can reflect
students
’ ability and determine whether or not they can fit
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the academic environment at
university
. If
students
 have not acquired enough knowledge
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high school, they are possibly not qualified for the next level of
education
.
In addition
,
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
 on high-ranking
students
 at a young
age
 allows the governments to focus on their resources towards the development of
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
.
In other words
, the states can mobilize resources to create a more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 learning environment with improved
education
 quality, rather than taking risks in training
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
students
 that have mixed abilities
On the other hand
, I embrace the idea of making universities accessible
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 everyone, even of their
age
 and learning capacity. By no means should a person be denied the benefits of higher
education
 because of their
age
, for educational attainment is a critical factor behind upward income mobility
in particular
 and social mobility in general.
Additionally
, it is true that high school
students
 take a wide range of classes.
For
this
 reason, many
students
 may end up having poor
overall
 results, but in
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain
subjects
Add a comma
,subjects
show examples
 their marks might be extraordinarily high.
Lastly
, I would reaffirm that opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 studying
university
Change preposition
at university
show examples
 should be opened up for everyone, at any
age
 to enter
university
.
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • merit-based
  • competitive environment
  • academic standards
  • innovation
  • diversity
  • mature students
  • equitable
  • inclusive admission policies
  • educational disadvantages
  • holistic admission process
  • extracurricular achievements
  • non-traditional students
  • equal opportunities
  • societal progress
What to do next:
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