IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Government should spend money on railway rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#government #money #railway #roads
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the government should invest more in
railways
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 than
roads
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.But I personally think both modes of transportation are equally important, the same amount of money should be used for
railways
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 and
roads
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. The main reason for building
railways
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 is, it is very safe to
travel
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 and easy to commute for
people
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. Goods can
also
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 be transported easily from one place to another. It can carry hundreds of
people
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 and tons of goods as well. More rail lines should
also
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 be constructed because our country's population is increasing and
this
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 will help a large group of
people
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 to
travel
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 by
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it can be cheaper than any other mode of transportation. It is
also
Linking Words
 more environmentally friendly if compared to
roads
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 as vehicles need a large amount of fuel to
travel
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.
Although
Linking Words
roads
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 are less safe as accidents occur on
a
Change the article
an
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 almost daily basis,
however
Linking Words
 what about those products and goods that cannot be transferred by train
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Then
Linking Words
 obviously they have to be transferred by a truck and van.
People
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 need a smooth road to
travel
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 at a faster pace. In conclusion, everything has its own advantages and disadvantages, similar is the case with
railways
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 and
roads
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. Cars have to face traffic congestion which
railways
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 don’t,
hence
Linking Words
Railways
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 should be more predominant in main cities as it reduces traffic problems. Railway has a greater number of pros but we cannot fully the
roads
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.
Roads
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 are very convenient as they provide
direction
Fix the agreement mistake
directions
show examples
 to the place of origin.
Submitted by kritikasrivastavabest on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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