Some people think that video games are advantageous, while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #video #games

Some

people

think that playing

video

games

is beneficial to their users

while

others say that

video

games

are more disadvantageous. I will discuss both sides of

this

argument in my essay below and give my personal view in the conclusion. On the one hand, playing

video

games

has some advantages.

Firstly

games

help their

players

relax and

therefore

improve their work efficiency afterwards.

This

is extremely important for both working

people

and students who have to deal with increasing workloads nowadays.

Secondly

, playing

games

also

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some educational purposes.

For example

, many modern

games

are designed with English instructions, and

players

around the world can play together and communicate in English.

This

motivates

players

to learn English in order to play the

games

well.

On the other hand

, playing

video

games

frequently causes several problems for

players

To begin

with,

such

activity is really addictive and sometimes takes away too much time, which will make it extremely difficult for

people

to get out and do exercise.

Consequently

, these

people

are likely to suffer from a lot of diseases,

such

as back pain or maybe obesity,

due to

this

lack of physical exercise. The second disadvantage of playing

games

is that it can distract

players

, especially young students, from their studies or work.

For instance

, my younger brother used to spend hours playing

games

every day, and now his scores at school are really low. In conclusion, playing

video

games

is both advantageous and disadvantageous in many aspects. And in my view, the extent to which each user of

video

games

is affected is different and more or less depends on how much time he or she spends on those

games

Submitted by cathyngo1512 on Sun Jul 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the main points in each paragraph directly relate to the topic and support the overall argument.

task achievement

Make sure to clearly address all parts of the essay prompt and provide sufficient relevant examples for each viewpoint.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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