IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, girls and boys are educated in different schools rather than in the same school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#countries #girls #boys #schools #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some nations,
girls
 and
boys
 are educated in separate schools
instead
 of the same
school
. In my opinion, the merits of
single-
sex
-
school
 outweigh the demerits. On the one hand, there are several drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 teaching
girls
 and
boys
 in different
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
.
Firstly
,
single-
sex
-
school
 do not give
childern
Correct your spelling
children
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to learn in more detail about
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
sex
.
This
 is because the
single-
sex
-
school
 do not give
children
 a chance to make real contact with
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
sex
, which
this
 have a negative impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
 later in their parental life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they do not
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
experice
Correct your spelling
experience
 to deal with other
sex
, and
then
this
 can increase the rates of divorce.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
single-
sex
-
school
 is extremely expensive.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 governments need to build individual
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 for
girls
 and
boys
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can increase the financial burden
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the public budget of the country.
On the other hand
, I would like to argue that the benefits of teaching
girls
 and
boys
 in separate schools
significantly
Add a missing verb
are significantly
show examples
more far
Replace the words
farther
show examples
 than mixing
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
. The first advantage,
single-
Correct your spelling
single-sex school
show examples
sex
-
school
 can increase the
performace
Correct your spelling
performance
 of
chlidren
Correct your spelling
children
. To put
in other words
,
children
 are more likely to focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 rather than concentrate to attract
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
sex
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
ehance
Correct your spelling
enhance
 the outcomes of
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 system.
For example
, some
boys
 neglect their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and only focus to make
impressing
Replace the word
impressive
show examples
 things to attract
girls
. The second advantage,
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 separate
school
 can protect
children
 to develop sexual diseases namely, HIV, because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sexual diseases transfer through relationships
bewteen
Correct your spelling
between
girls
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
boys
 out of
Correct article usage
the fram
show examples
fram
Correct your spelling
frame
 of marriage.
A
Correct your spelling
As
show examples
 a result,
Add an article
the
a
show examples
separate
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 can provide
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 environment for
children
. In conclusion, in my
perspective
Add a comma
,perspective
show examples
 the upsides of single-
sex
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 outperform the
downsids
Correct your spelling
downsides
downside
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can assist to boosts
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
productivity among
children
as well as
 provide
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 environment.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • segregation
  • discrimination
  • gender-specific
  • distractions
  • focus
  • safe
  • comfortable
  • gender stereotypes
  • social interaction
  • interpersonal skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: