Some people believe that music should be taught in schools, while others think that it is best to focus on computer and science. Discuss both views and your opinion.

#people #music #schools #focus #computer #science

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significant growth in the technology and science sector. A group of individual claims that students should be trained in the

music

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field in learning institutions,

while

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another community prefer to push students to learn computer and science. In my opinion, learning coding and research skill will definitely help the youth to secure their future rather than learning

music

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. In these looming paragraphs, I will discuss both aspects. In

this

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decade, technology and artificial intelligence are significantly growing,

even

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and even

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most of the manual jobs are

also

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now replaced by AI.

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, most of the multinational companies have laid off thousands of

people

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. Recently, the CEO of Google

also

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said that more than 90% of the jobs will be replaced by computers and science.

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, if the youth will focus more on programming skills and research,

then

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the probability of success will be drastically higher than learning

music

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However

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music

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unique skill which cannot be learned by an individual. It helps in maintaining focus in life and makes

people

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stress-free. Nowadays,

people

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are in stress

due to

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their hectic work life of corporate, and love to

listen

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tolisten

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live

music

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, so if students at an early age are taught about

music

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then

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they will help an excessive number of

people

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from stress.

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, focusing on skills which always give a person an advantage to be different from others is really beneficial. In a nutshell, each aspect has its pros and cons.

Although

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it is important for schools to promote

music

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in student's life, I believe that it is even more important for each individual to focus on technology and research because these are the only two fields which will help them to secure their future.

Submitted by gsmultani506 on Sun Jul 02 2023

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Some people believe that music should be taught in schools, while others think that it is best to focus on computer and science. Discuss both views and your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

many people think that live now is better than in the past. discuss this argument

1. People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Throughout history, male leaders have led us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?