Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

are aware of the positive and negative impacts of their surroundings thanks to the internet. Since

sugar

Use synonyms

is dangerous for the human body, it is argued whether the consumption of

sugar

Use synonyms

is limited by the

government

Use synonyms

individuals

Correct word choice

whether individuals

show examples

should take responsibility for eating

less

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

as much as they can. I will justify the reasons behind

this

Linking Words

statement in the upcoming paragraphs with my opinion. The first and foremost reason behind the limitation on

sugar

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should be implemented by the

government

Use synonyms

is that the supply of goods and products is checked by authorities.

For instance

Linking Words

, a bill is passed by the

government

Use synonyms

every year to regulate the price and sale of the products,

therefore

Linking Words

, the amount of

sugar

Use synonyms

sent to stores can be reduced by the

government

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the campus should be organized to provide knowledge about the negative effects of

sugar

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on one's health as some

people

Use synonyms

are not aware of it.

Consequently

Linking Words

, awareness can help

people

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to limit the use of

sugar

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in their daily life.

However

Linking Words

, the latter statement is

also

Linking Words

true that

individuals

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had better control

Change preposition

over

show examples

the usage of

sugar

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in their food.

For example

Linking Words

,do

individuals

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know what is good for them? Some

people

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prefer smoking regardless of the negative consequences.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is their personal choice whether they want it or not.

As a result

Linking Words

, everyone should take some responsibility for their health. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the

government

Use synonyms

can limit the intake of

sugar

Use synonyms

,folks know more about their body as compared to the

government

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so it should be their decision.

According to

Linking Words

my perspective, if both

government

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and

individuals

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Verb problem

make

show examples

some efforts to minimize the amount of sweet things, it can be more efficient.

simranjot0002Thu May 02 2024

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detail

Clarify and expand your main points with more specific examples and explanations. Consider how specific evidence or details could make your argument stronger.

structure

Work on structuring your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for each view and your own opinion. Use clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.

accuracy

Watch out for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Small inaccuracies can distract from your message. Consider a careful review or using writing tools to help.

cohesion

Enhance the coherence of your essay by improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking phrases to better connect your ideas.

opinion clarity

Be clear about your own opinion throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. This helps to fulfill the task requirement of giving your own view.

task response

You addressed both views as the task prompt requested, showing a good understanding of the task.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes both sides of the argument and your own viewpoint, making it a strong part of your essay.

example

Your example of governmental regulation of product supply is relevant and helps to support your argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

harmful
government intervention
policies and regulations
public health
individual responsibility
education and awareness campaigns
freedom of choice
balanced approach
food industry
sugar content
obesity
diabetes
health problems
taxation
advertising restrictions
labeling requirements
reading food labels
natural sweeteners
cooking at home
moderation
balanced diets

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Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer togethert while others that people and communities are bbecome more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people see sport as no more than a leisure activity, others, however, believe that it is important for society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.