Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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Nowadays,
people
are aware of the positive and negative impacts of their surroundings thanks to the internet. Since sugar
is dangerous for the human body, it is argued whether the consumption of sugar
is limited by the government
or individuals
should take responsibility for eating Correct word choice
whether individuals
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
sugar
as much as they can. I will justify the reasons behind this
statement in the upcoming paragraphs with my opinion.
The first and foremost reason behind the limitation on sugar
should be implemented by the government
is that the supply of goods and products is checked by authorities. For instance
, a bill is passed by the government
every year to regulate the price and sale of the products, therefore
, the amount of sugar
sent to stores can be reduced by the government
. In addition
to this
, the campus should be organized to provide knowledge about the negative effects of sugar
on one's health as some people
are not aware of it. Consequently
, awareness can help people
to limit the use of sugar
in their daily life.
However
, the latter statement is also
true that individuals
had better control of
the usage of Change preposition
over
sugar
in their food. For example
,do individuals
know what is good for them? Some people
prefer smoking regardless of the negative consequences. Hence
, it is their personal choice whether they want it or not. As a result
, everyone should take some responsibility for their health.
In conclusion, although
the government
can limit the intake of sugar
,folks know more about their body as compared to the government
so it should be their decision. According to
my perspective, if both government
and individuals
do
some efforts to minimize the amount of sweet things, it can be more efficient.Verb problem
make
Submitted by simranjot0002 on
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detail
Clarify and expand your main points with more specific examples and explanations. Consider how specific evidence or details could make your argument stronger.
structure
Work on structuring your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for each view and your own opinion. Use clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.
accuracy
Watch out for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Small inaccuracies can distract from your message. Consider a careful review or using writing tools to help.
cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your essay by improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking phrases to better connect your ideas.
opinion clarity
Be clear about your own opinion throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. This helps to fulfill the task requirement of giving your own view.
task response
You addressed both views as the task prompt requested, showing a good understanding of the task.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes both sides of the argument and your own viewpoint, making it a strong part of your essay.
example
Your example of governmental regulation of product supply is relevant and helps to support your argument.