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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays individual take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a business trip. What are the advantages and disadvantages on individual and on his/her family?

#business #trip
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Use synonyms
Business
Add an article
A business
The business
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trip
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 is where an individual is assigned for
a travel
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travel
a journey
a trip
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 to either internationally or domestically for work purposes. Many bachelor or bachelorette employees will choose to go for a
business
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trip
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 compare to married employees
due to
Linking Words
 them having one less responsibility of taking care of
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
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.
However
Linking Words
, there are some married employees that are being sent for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a business trip
business trips
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business
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 trips
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
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 bring along their family
members
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. And in
this
Linking Words
discussion
Add a comma
,discussion
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 I will write about the advantages and disadvantages of
Use synonyms
business
Add an article
a business
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trip
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on
Change preposition
for
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individual
Correct article usage
an individual
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 and on his/her
fmaily
Correct your spelling
family
. The advantage of bringing along family
members
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
business
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trip
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 will make an individual feels more comfortable as if they are back at home and reduce stress built up in them
while
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 working away from
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 comfort zone.
For instance
Linking Words
, when an individual comes home to a hot meal after a day of tiring work,
this
Linking Words
 will
defnitely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 help his/her fatigue and one less problem to decide a meal to cook or purchase.
However
Linking Words
, the disadvantage of bringing along family
members
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
business
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trip
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 is cost. If an individual income is on the lower end, having family
members
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 following
to
Change preposition
apply
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a
business
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trip
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 might be a burden as there are more mouths to feed.
For example
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, an individual
only
Correct pronoun usage
who only
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need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to pay for two meals a day will now pay for at least four meals a day which will put him/her into more problems. In conclusion, bringing along family
members
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 to a
business
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trip
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 might be good for your mental health but at the cost of savings.
Therefore
Linking Words
, an individual should write out a plan and cost estimate before deciding on bringing family along
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
business
Use synonyms
trip
Use synonyms
 to prevent unnecessary losses.
Submitted by honzent99 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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