IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e. g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #technology #people #work #workplace #e #g #home #mobility
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Today, advanced
technology
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 supports all aspects of living, including the way of working. It can be said that IT helps
people
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work
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 from everywhere, not only in conventional offices. Personally, the benefit of
this
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 mobility certainly offers more positives than drawbacks. There are reasons for
this
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 to support. To start with,
this
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 mobility helps enhance or lessen the mental issue, occurring because of repetition. One of many reasons, why more
people
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 who have a routine job suffer from psychological illness,
people
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 who have a routine job suffer from psychological illness is that they come down with depression caused by their tasks at
work
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.
This
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 means that
technology
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 can mitigate the level of
this
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 seriousness as employees can be away from their normal atmosphere at
work
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, they can
work
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 from anywhere that motivates them to
work
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.
Next,
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this
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technology
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 enables those workers to
work
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 fast and efficiently. It is obvious that in the era of IT,
people
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 tend to reach the task assignment within a shorter amount of
time
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.
Instead
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 of
time
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 spent on communicating, the task can be achieved within the same
time
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 used by
people
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 to get to
work
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 whenever there is internet access. Despite those advantages, some may find that
this
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 disrupts or interfere with their personal
time
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. It is true that workers can be notified at all times when they can be reached or contacted by mobile or email.
This
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 may force them to
work
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 more in their own
time
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, which most
people
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 think is essential to have a right to break from
work
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 when they are not at
work
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. Yet,
this
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 is regarded as a minimum disadvantage that can be avoided as the law protects all workers unless they choose
work
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 over their personal life. In conclusion, it is confirmed that information
technology
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's benefits outweigh its drawbacks in terms of a place to
work
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. It is transparently accepted that
people
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 have received a variety of benefits from
although
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 there are a few facts showing that the advance of IT could disturb or invade
people
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's free
time
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 off from
work
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. Those
people
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 can choose their own
work
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 that can inspire them to give out better performance, and IT can help save more
time
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 with more progressive
work
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 outcomes as
time
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 can be spent shorter on each task.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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