The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

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The chart illustrates the township of Garlsdon with a population of 65000. A new supermarket mentioned as ‘S’ is planned for the municipality. The map gives information about two possible areas for the supermarket.

Overall

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, it can be clearly seen that most of the areas are housing and countryside.

Then

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there are two industrial sectors: on the north side and south side.

Also

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a centre of the town without traffic zones nearer to the southern industrial region.

According to

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the map, the new supermarket is going to be built in the countryside or in the town centre of the town. It is interesting to note that there are three main roadways which go into several towns smaller than Carlson. The first township is 25 kilometres away named Cransdon with 29000 people. The second is 16 kilometres away named Bransdon with 15000 people. The third one is the nearest village named Hindon with a 10000 population.

In addition

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, there is the railway which goes through the housings and municipality centre.

Submitted by shansharova.assel on Mon Jul 03 2023

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

169 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Accessibility
Congestion
Economic benefits
Environmental impact
Foot traffic
Green space
Job creation
Local property values
Parking availability
Pollution
Proximity
Public transportation
Sustainability
Traffic patterns
Residential areas
Shopping convenience

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The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?

In many countries people are now living longer than over before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benifits if society has more elderly people.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to study for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.