IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows purchase levels of four meats in the UK from 1974 to 2011.

The chart below shows purchase levels of four meats in the UK from 1974 to 2011.
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The line graph illustrates how much meat (
beef
Use synonyms
,
lamb
Use synonyms
,
chicken
Use synonyms
 and
pork
Use synonyms
) British people bought between 1974 and 2011. Units are measured in grams per person per day.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most striking feature is that over the period there was a decline in the consumption levels of all types of meat, with the exception of
chicken
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
beef
Use synonyms
 was the most popular meat in 1974, it was
then
Linking Words
 overtaken by
chicken
Use synonyms
 in 1997.
In addition
Linking Words
, the consumption of
pork
Use synonyms
 and
lamb
Use synonyms
 roughly halved over 35 years.
Beef
Use synonyms
 and
chicken
Use synonyms
 were purchased the most in 1974,
however
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
beef
Use synonyms
 stood at just under 200g, hit a peak in the 1980s and started to plummet,
Use synonyms
chicken
Add an article
the chicken
show examples
 was at just over 100g and had increased to roughly 175g by 1997, overtaking
beef
Use synonyms
 the same year.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
beef
Use synonyms
 continued to drop, hit a trough in the 2000s and
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
recovered by 2011 to amount to the level of
chicken
Use synonyms
 in 1974,
chicken
Use synonyms
 fluctuated in the 2000s and increased slightly to reverse positions with
beef
Use synonyms
 by the end of the period.
Pork
Use synonyms
 and
lamb
Use synonyms
 were consumed the least.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
lamb
Use synonyms
 stood at roughly the same level as
chicken
Use synonyms
 in 1974 and
pork
Use synonyms
 was just under 100g. Following the same pattern as
beef
Use synonyms
,
lamb
Use synonyms
 and
pork
Use synonyms
 rose slightly in the 1980s and
then
Linking Words
 underwent a decrease,
however
Linking Words
,
lamb
Use synonyms
 saw a more steep decline than
pork
Use synonyms
, which amounted to just over 50g in 2011, and had reached just under 50g by 2011.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words beef, lamb, chicken, pork, g with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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