IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The growth in population in cities means that parks should now be used for residential and business purposes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the past decades, the human population on Earth has been increasing significantly, especially in
cities
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, following their development and trends of urbanisation.
Although
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 some feel that
this
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 would imply the conversion of
parks
Use synonyms
 into houses and offices, I believe that green islands in
cities
Use synonyms
 are not endangered at all for two reasons.
First,
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parks
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 and forests play an essential role in producing fresh air for
cities
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. It is common knowledge that trees and other plants absorb carbon dioxide and, in turn, produce oxygen.
However
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, some claim that the amount of pollution and gases emitted by factories and cars in a megalopolis cause irretrievable damage to the environment and cannot be reduced. In fact, green areas are deemed the lungs of big
cities
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 and contribute a lot to the stabilisation of the ecological situation there. I would argue that without
parks
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 and forests life of city dwellers would have become unbearable, people just casually fail to notice how subtle the work of plants is. The second and, in my opinion, the most convincing reason is that
parks
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 are the most common recreation areas in big
cities
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. It is there where the vast majority of residents usually choose to spend their weekends or have a walk after a long working day. Replacement of green areas with houses and offices would sap the life out of an already lifeless city and would have detrimental repercussions on both the physical and mental health of the residents, which would result in increased levels of stress and morbidity among citizens. In conclusion, not only do
parks
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 ameliorate ecological conditions in megalopolises, but they
also
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 make a positive and crucial contribution to the wellness and well-being of city dwellers.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that
parks
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 and forests in
cities
Use synonyms
 should remain intact.

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph is clearly linked to the main topic and thesis statement. Use transition words to create coherence between ideas. Also, make sure to address all aspects of the prompt in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong and effectively sum up the main ideas. Ensure the body paragraphs are well-structured and each idea is backed up with supporting details and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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