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In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people

#countries #children #work #people
The development of social media is spreading the idea among young generations that everything can be earned without a real job.
However
, there are many children working in different countries of the globe. Paradoxically, it is believed by some people that children should not be employed. Contrarily, other citizens think that paid work is a vital
life
 experience for the young who has the possibility to develop new interpersonal and practical
skills
 and become more conscious about
life
 costs. I could not agree more with the latter opinion and I will explain the reasons in
this
 essay. First and foremost,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological advances are leading to an increased number of students
uncapable
Correct your spelling
incapable
 of mastering practical activities. It has been demonstrated by a recent study that the number of 6 years old children who do not know how to draw by hand has peaked in the
last
 decade.
Therefore
,
by
Change preposition
apply
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having the possibility of getting paid
while
 developing practical
skills
 could be a
life
-changing experience for the new generations. It is worth
to mention
Change the verb form
mentioning
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 that
this
 could
also
 give them the chance to build a strong social network and to work on
skills
 related to communication and team building.
Secondly
, kids earning a monthly salary can
also
 learn the value of sacrifice. By having an amount of money saved up, they can set a target,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 a toy or a dinner out with friends and decide to spend all their savings
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 it.
Therefore
, by doing
this
, the child can experience the real costs of
life
 and prioritize them.
To sum up
, I strongly believe that jobs are a great tool for students and the young to improve their daily
life
skills
 and to understand which is the real cost of
life
, literally.
Submitted by mariasolebarel on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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