Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

A section of the population opines that
music
brought
people
from
diffferent
Correct your spelling
different
cultures and years closely in a positive
way
. I firmly advocate that it has the ability to latch
people
by its tune where
people
can find peace.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
society does not know about each other
besides
the
country
name.
Music
includes tune, lyrics, and
rhythem
Correct your spelling
rhythm
rhythms
. A
music
-lover might from another
country
might not understand the lyrics but can feel the depth of the sound.
In addition
,
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
or
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
can feel the wave of the
song
. Through
music
Add a comma
,music
show examples
people
can know about other countries, or start to feel
curiousity
Correct your spelling
curious
about that particular artist and his or her origin.
Then
people
begin to
gether
Correct your spelling
together
information about
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
culture or society of the creator of the
song
. Kimi Paul, and
Nima
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Nima's
show examples
siblings from Tanzania,
for instance
, are now popular all over the world. Not for their singing but
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
dancing videos
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Indian or other languages
song
. Just two months back they made a video on
Bangladeshi
Correct article usage
the Bangladeshi
show examples
song
"Deora". They do not understand the word of the
music
.
Although
they produce
this
content and it became a massive hit globally.
Furthermore
, a community can not be rich only by their own sources of
cultures
Fix the agreement mistake
culture
show examples
or songs. Many popular songs are inspired by different
country
's
tune
Fix the agreement mistake
tunes
show examples
or words. Sometimes
an
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a
show examples
nation needs to know about other nation. As it helps us to make
people
think in a broader
way
.
People
can share their experiences through
music
. If
music
is a bad influence
then
some
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
show examples
can not be popular
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
country
. Namely, the king of pop Michael Jackson was an influencer in
this
music
industry. My uncle,
for example
, who was from
villlage
Correct your spelling
village
does not know about America.
However
, when he first heard his
song
he became a fan of his.
Moreover
, wants to know more about himself and his culture. Not in a bad
way
but
also
in a positive
way
he learnt about Michael
Jacksona
Correct your spelling
Jackson
and
country
. From all above the discussion, I certainly agree with the fact that
music
produce
Change the verb form
produces
show examples
positive
enegry
Correct your spelling
energy
not only in the
country
but
also
outside the boundaries. Other than that no language can make
people
so closer.
Submitted by kaynath87 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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