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Band 6

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

#people #children #life #outweigh
In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
, increasingly individuals decide to have
children
 after
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 period after
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
marriage. There are several reasons why people prefer to have
children
 later in their
life
 In my opinion the demerits of
this
 trend outweigh the merits. Regarding reasons, the primary reason
couples
 prefer to have
first
Correct pronoun usage
their first
show examples
children
 after
while
Add an article
a while
show examples
 is they looking for financial stability. To illustrate, they want to make sure they have enough money in order to provide
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
 for their future babies.
For example
, often
couples
 when they start
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 first job
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
earn low salaries after
period
Add an article
a period
the period
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
salary
Replace the word
salaries
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 increase gradually . Sense of freedom is another reason why many
couples
 decide to delay having
children
. To put
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 other words,
couples
 often prefer to enjoy their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 namely,
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 around the world in order to experience
a new cultures
Correct the article-noun agreement
new cultures
a new culture
show examples
 without worrying about
to look
Change the verb form
looking
show examples
 after
children
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can reduce
stree
Correct your spelling
stress
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
couples
.
However
, I would like to argue that the drawbacks of
this
 phenomenon
significantly
Add a missing verb
are significantly
show examples
 far more than
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
. The first disadvantage, people who decide to have
children
 later in their
life
 can face challenges
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
show examples
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 future babies.
This
 is
due to
 the fact the, increase
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 age gap between
partents
Correct your spelling
parents
 and their
children
, which can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
misunderstanding
Change preposition
to misunderstanding
show examples
 between generations. The second disadvantage women who become pregnant in senior age are more likely to birth
children
 with
defect
Replace the word
defective
show examples
 genes .
Furthermore
,
also
 pregnancy at older age
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 mother
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more vulnerable to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 serious diseases
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 cancer, heart attack,
high
Correct word choice
and high
show examples
 blood pressure.
To sum up
, there are a number of reasons why some individuals decide to have
children
 later in their
life
 including, financial stability,
Correct article usage
a feel
show examples
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
 of freedom,
on the other hand
, In my perspective, the downsides of
this
 trend outperform the upsides.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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