Some people believe that children who are given pocket money every week have less problems managing money when they become adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #pocket #money #week #adults

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,some agree that

children

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who are given

pocket

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money

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every week experience few problems in managing

funds

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during their adult life . For the past years in my country,

this

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has become a topic of debate among school boards and parents whether

children

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should be given

pocket

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allowances or not considering the fact that they carry to school packed breakfast and lunch.

However

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,the truth is ,

they

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

are both advantages and disadvantages to consider regarding the matter.

For instance

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, some of the adults who had an opportunity to be given

pocket

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funds

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at an early age are very responsible stewards of their

funds

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today.

Moreover

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, regardless of that, I strongly disagree because most of my schoolmates who used to be granted petty cash , are now experiencing hardships in managing their finances because they never considered

money

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as an income but they only knew that if they had

money

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they

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

spend it anyhow knowing that after exhausting everything they will be given again.The habit of receiving and spending is even affecting them today as elders .

This

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makes me believe that

children

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ought to be taught how to handle and spend

funds

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as soon as

when

Rephrase

apply

show examples

they start receiving

money

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This

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will help them even when they grow older.

Furthermore

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,some did not even know what to do with the

funds

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This

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led them to purchase harmful substances like drugs.Even today as elders they are failing to make good decisions and choices regarding their

funds

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, leading them to mismanage their finances.Again some experienced peer pressure because they started competing with the amounts of

funds

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, and they ended up dropping out of school in search of more

money

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in many different bad ways. In conclusion , supported by the above reasons , I firmly stand my ground ,disagreeing that,

children

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given

pocket

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money

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experience fewer problems with monetary management when they are old.

Submitted by Lethukuthula.tshuma1 on Mon Jul 03 2023

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task response

The essay partially addresses the task but lacks depth and comprehensive development of ideas. There is a need for a more balanced argument with relevant examples and a clear overall viewpoint.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical structure within paragraphs needs improvement. The points are somewhat disjointed, and the progression of ideas could be strengthened with better transitions and connections between sentences and paragraphs.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a range of vocabulary, but frequent inaccuracies and lack of precision affect the overall quality of expression. Use of a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language would enhance the essay.

grammatical range

The essay shows some control of a range of grammatical structures, but there are numerous errors, resulting in unclear or awkward expression. Aim for more accurate and varied sentence structures to improve overall coherence and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

308 words

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Some people believe that children who are given pocket money every week have less problems managing money when they become adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars and riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

Some people think that to learn a second language well, it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken. What is your opinion about this?

Now days more and more people buy and use their own cars . Do you think the advantage of this trend for individual outweigh its disadvantages for the environment ??