Some people think that visiting museums is the best way for children to learn history, while many others think there are several better ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

In modern times,the issue of roaming museums is the best way for toddlers to study
history
,
while
many critics say there are numerous better ways.I will be explaining both notions before putting my pen down and thinking. Generally speaking,there are two main reasons why people believe that youngsters should go to the place where things are collected and accumulated about stories and the good old days.perhaps the main reason why people are in favour of
this
idea is that a museum visit is a good way to
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
about ancient cultures and increase
knowledge
.A good illustration of
this
is an infant who wants to see physically ancient collections which are displayed in the museum
such
as leader statues,weapons and animal bones which passed out of sight.A
further
point is in favour of travelling exhibition galleries where adolescents can feel realistic with gaining
knowledge
.if they don't want to restrict their
knowledge
about historical collections,
then
they should come. Despite these arguments,there is a case for the idea that can help to enlighten the study of
history
.the main reason why people think that
this
is a good idea is that it is easy to access all the information about ancient cultures and
history
with one click through the internet.
As a result
,they can see the pictures of the actual collection that they want to know.
secondly
reading books and watching documentaries are
also
the major source of learning from the old days.
this
is because children who don't want to travel that much
for learning
Change preposition
to learn
show examples
would like to stay at home and making them educated in
history
. In conclusion,it is vital to show them a range of paths when it comes to gaining
knowledge
.
Therefore
,I believe in my humble opinion,they need to encounter various methods of learning rather than one
Submitted by yeahyeamin on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the logical structure could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a complete response but lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. Including more relevant and specific examples would strengthen the essay.
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