Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest

this

day and age, how

people

spend their free

time

has been a heated topic. plenty of

people

believe that it is important to use free

time

for activities that improve the mind

such

as reading or doing word puzzles.

However

, others want to

rest

their mind during leisure

time

. I agree with the latter idea.

This

essay will elaborate on the reason why.

To begin

with, one of the many advantages of resting is being able to

work

better after relaxing enough. When

people

study or

work

for a long

time

, they can feel tired and stressed. At

this

moment, the ability of thought is reduced to get distracted.

hence

reduce

Wrong verb form

reducing

show examples

quality

Correct article usage

the quality

show examples

work

Change preposition

of work

show examples

or study.

However

, if

people

spend a little

time

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

relax and let

the

Change the word

their

show examples

brain

rest

people

could complete

work

with high quality

anh

Correct your spelling

and

lessen stress.

In addition

, resting the mind increases the health of the

brain

. Working or studying stressfully for a long

time

will lead to many problems that are harmful to the

brain

. Without

rest

, the

brain

can reduce focus, reduce memory and lead to diseases

such

as headaches,

this

leads to reduced

brain

performance. If the

brain

is rested enough after hours of stressful

work

, it can restore itself and improve its functions, thereby improving memory and focus. Because of

this

, a well-rested

brain

can be more agile than a

brain

that works for a long

time

without

rest

People

can relax their

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

by getting enough sleep,

listening

Correct word choice

and listening

show examples

to good music. In conclusion, giving the

brain

rest

is a necessity. It will bring many pros to

people

's health and

work

Submitted by teachingqa272 on Tue Jul 04 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive abilities
mental stagnation
intellectually stimulating
relaxation
meditation
stress reduction
overall well-being
personal development
life satisfaction
sense of achievement
emotional balance
peace of mind
scientific evidence
memory
learning
creativity
emotional regulation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In the current world, there is a rising number of individuals who seek out the cure for their health problems by using traditional medicines and treatments instead of trusting the doctors. While alternative medicine has benefits, it also has drawbacks. The following paragraphs will examine whether the use of alternative medicines is a positive or negative development.
6.5
band
Some people think that tha government is wasting money on tha art and that this money could be better spend elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
It is an irrefutable fact that the authorities allocate the funds equally to all sectors to ameliorate public services. Nevertheless, some individuals claim that instead of spending valuable money on art, the regime should make endeavors to improve other amenities. I disagree with this viewpoint and the reasons associated with this are elucidated in the following paragraphs.
4.5
band
In ancient times, major population thrived in a small communities where everyone knew each other. In these days, most of the people live in urban areas such as capital cities and are not much aware of other people around them. What were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small communities?
Nowadays, people prefered to live in city in a small community than a country side with knowing everyone in village, therefore, population in capital city always more than other country side. After less connections with others and not aware of other people will have some impacts and some downsides in this situation. In this essay, I will discuss about what upside is in this phenomenon and what problem will increase.
6.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about whether university students focus on their main fields or learn more skills as well as their main major. While I believe that focusing on one thing can be beneficial, I agree that students need to gain other skills which are useful for their future lives and jobs.
4.5
band
Art classes, such as painting and drawing , are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In light of the proliferation of education quality, art is an inseperatable subject for the enhancement of children, therefore, it must be considered as a compulsory subject in high schools. However, this writter contending art is a talented subject which require immersion and should be optional.

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that tha government is wasting money on tha art and that this money could be better spend elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing , are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?