The gap between rich and poor is growing . What problems does this create ? What can be done to tackle them

#gap #create

In the world today, we can see that the

gap

between rich and poor is widening.

This

can make a lot of problems. In

this

essay, I will discuss the complications

this

trend can create and

also

offer some solutions. The most important problem is

elevation

Add an article

an elevation

the elevation

show examples

crime

Correct article usage

the crime

show examples

rate. The reason might be the fact that when the poor watch affluent individuals they make comparisons in their subconscious mind and ,

then

, every unacceptable

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

becomes acceptable to them.

Thus

, they start offending others by means of robbery or something like that.

For instance

, when the police caught many robbers, they confessed that their incentive was how some wealthy families behave and they want to have their wealth.

Moreover

, as

this

gap

grows,

education

then

limited to people who have more finance.

This

is because of the fact that only affluent families can support their offspring,

while

the child in a rural

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

have to work alongside their parents to make ends meet.

Therefore

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rural

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

do not have enough time for

education

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most

schools

are far from their residence and they have to

spent

Change the verb

spend

show examples

their time on farmland.

For example

, many private

schools

offer better training facilities for children, and they are only available to rich ones. In order to tackle these problems, authorities have to make

education

obligatory and free for

everyone

until the age

Change preposition

of 15

show examples

Everyone

has the right to benefit from the best facilities provided at

schools

and the

gap

will eradicate

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when private

schools

become available to

everyone

In addition

, a minimum wage

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

determined

Add a missing verb

be determined

show examples

Thus

, no one has to commit a crime for

the

Change the word

their

show examples

primary needs. In conclusion, as

this

gap

widens, many complications are created. An elevation in crime rate and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of well-educated individuals are the most vital issues. People in power should try to tackle these problems.

For example

, by offering free

education

for

everyone

and setting a minimum wage for

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

Submitted by sheida95jahanbekam on Tue Jul 04 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

326 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The gap between rich and poor is growing . What problems does this create ? What can be done to tackle them

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading storybooks are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

GLOBAL WARMING IS INCREASING DAY BY DAY. WHAT EFFECTS DOES THIS PHENOMENON CAUSES ? WHAT ARE THE SOLUTION

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being sellf-employed?

Because so much information is available on the internet today, traditional secondary schools and teachers are no longer necessary. Do you agree with this statement?