Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #crime #prevention #responsibility #individuals

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In some

cases

people

think the

government

has to be responsible for crime

however

others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. In my opinion, I believe that the

government

should deal with all

cases

because they have the power to change the laws On the one hand, some

people

think that the

government

is the best way to deal with crimes, and I agree. The law can deal with anyone who

broke

Wrong verb form

breaks

show examples

the law because they have professional judges who have given the offenders a good sentence.

For example

, if somebody kills someone by mistake they will give him the chance to talk to the solicitor to give him the advice to get less sentenced.

Furthermore

, the

government

has a lot of ways to punish the offenders

such

as corporal punishment and capital punishment, or some punishments can change the

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

people

who are breaking the law

such

as cleaning the street or helping

people

who have any problem.

On the other hand

in some countries, the citizens are more powerful than the

government

. Usually, citizens can deal with any case because they are part of the community who have seen all the

cases

in their area. Another reason why individuals are the best way to protect themselves is that they try and experience

this

problem and maybe

this

issue happens to one of their family and that leads them to protect their society from any other problems, that could happen and deal to intercept the safety of

this

community inside these countries

To sum up

I believe that the

government

has to deal with all

cases

because they are the most important part of the country

Submitted by s_syedy on Tue Jul 04 2023

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task response

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, but the analysis is limited. You should provide a more balanced treatment of the two perspectives and develop your arguments with more depth and clarity.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and depth. Your essay would benefit from a more developed introduction that clearly outlines the different perspectives. The conclusion should summarize your main points and provide a clear stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

284 words

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Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try to hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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