IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table shows about underground railway system

The table shows about underground railway system
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The table demonstrates data about underground railway systems in six major cities with the date opened,
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of route, and passengers per year in millions from 1863 to 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, the largest numbers belong to London, Paris and Tokyo.
Also
Linking Words
, the smallest figures were in Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles. The London Underground system is the oldest one, which was opened in 1863.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it has the largest route, with 394
kilometres
Use synonyms
. The second largest railway is located in Paris, almost 200
kilometres
Use synonyms
, but serves more people every year.
Although
Linking Words
 the Tokyo system is the third in terms of road size, it was used by considerably more people. The next subway is in Washington DC. It is quite large with 126
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of road, compared with 11
kilometres
Use synonyms
 and 28
kilometres
Use synonyms
 for Kyoto and Los Angeles, respectively. The Kyoto metro is the smallest, with only 45 million passengers annually.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the subway in Los Angeles is the newest and started working in 2001.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kilometres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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