Many factors motivate people in the workplace. Of these, money is the most important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#factors #people #workplace #money

Nowadays, many

people

think that

money

will be the most important thing that motivates

people

in the workplace. In

this

essay, I will totally disagree with

this

view. It is undeniable that

money

is essential to motivate

people

Firstly

money

is significant for

people

to live in

this

society. In fact, most aspects of our lives can be addressed with

money

For example

, when

people

have

money

, they can buy food, clothes or other necessary items to meet their basic needs in daily life.

Therefore

, most

people

will consider the salary level when choosing a position.

Secondly

, it is easy to understand that no one will

work

for free. When

people

go to

work

, they always want to get an amount of

money

to cover their living costs or even support their family.

Besides

, some

people

will judge others by salary, which leads to the fact that

people

want to get a high salary to prove themselves.

However

, I do believe that

money

is not the most important thing to motivate workers because there are many other factors which can motivate them better. The first factor is job satisfaction. Actually, many

people

with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

well-paid

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

are not happy at

work

, and they end up finding another job. Another element may be the working environment. It means that

people

can

work

with their bosses and workmates to

get

Verb problem

reach

show examples

common goals. If

people

cannot socialize with their workmates, they seem to be isolated

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and may have no motivation to go to

work

. In conclusion,

although

money

is important to motivate

people

work

, it is the most essential one because there are many other factors that can motivate

people

Submitted by phuongank1511 on Wed Jul 05 2023

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay provides a clear response to the prompt expressing disagreement with the idea that money is the most important factor in workplace motivation. The arguments are supported and the position is well-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a well-structured logical progression of ideas, linking words and cohesive devices. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic. However, some supporting points could be further developed to enhance coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Compensation
Incentives
Job satisfaction
Work ethic
Performance-based bonuses
Recognition
Employee retention
Career advancement
Work-life balance
Monetary vs. non-monetary rewards
Gig economy
Positive reinforcement
Team cohesion
Organizational culture
Professional development

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Many factors motivate people in the workplace. Of these, money is the most important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Economic growth is one way to measure a country’s success, but what else should we look at? Which do you think is the most important?

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make action. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.