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Band 5

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time
New
technologies
 have changed the way
children
 spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? It is a well-documented fact that an increasing number of the public are drawing attention to the effect of modern technology on how the younger generation
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 their leisure time.
While
 there are some
people
 who strongly believe that the aforementioned phenomenon is detrimental to
children
, others claim that it might be beneficial.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with the former argument. On the one hand, the potential that
technologies
 hold is
an obvious evidence
Remove the article
obvious evidence
a piece of obvious evidence
a shred of obvious evidence
show examples
 for other
people
 to defend them. It is acknowledged that innovative devices
such
 as phones and computers provide access to
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
endless storage of knowledge through the internet.
Therefore
,
children
 now can satisfy their curiosity with just a few clicks on the keyboard, unlike
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past when they had to invest hours in the library for an answer
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their question. Another worth noting point is that
technologies
 connect
people
 from around the world regardless of
distances
Fix the agreement mistake
distance
show examples
, thereby proving themselves to be tremendously convenient and a wonderful
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 tool.
For instance
, juveniles can contact their parents overseas or learn another language with native speakers
while
also
 befriending them.
On the other hand
, there are two primary points for other
people
 to defend their view that handling technology incorrectly will be dangerous for the health and development of minors.
To begin
 with, it is an undeniable fact that a number of
metal
Correct your spelling
mental
show examples
 and physical health issues are caused by overusing technical advancements. To illustrate, news outlets have been reporting violence from
children
 who were separated from their video games and electronic devices.
Furthermore
, it is inevitable that only devoting time
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
instead
 of other activities will hinder them
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 developing some necessary life skills which will affect their performance in mundane tasks. An example would be
children
 who are solely dependent on calculators find it hard to perform even
elementary level
Add a hyphen
elementary-level
show examples
 math problems without it. In conclusion,
although
technologies
 might be useful educationally, we must admit that
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
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long exposure to these devices
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
 to blame for stagnant development and a notable number of health problems.
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  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
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