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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows how different types of students in Canada use the internet in general, through broadband or through wireless mediums (phones, laptops). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows how different types of students in Canada use the internet in general, through broadband or through wireless mediums (phones, laptops). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graphs
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
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 the proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 in
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
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 using
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 in general ,
broadband
Use synonyms
 and wireless devices .The users are categorized
in
Change preposition
into
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 various categories .
For instance
Linking Words
, all adults , non-
students
Use synonyms
 , undergrads , grad
students
Use synonyms
 ,
community
Correct word choice
and community
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 college .
Overall
Linking Words
 , all adults
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 ,which is accounted for 75 %.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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non-
students
Use synonyms
 prefer
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 as compared to
broaband
Correct your spelling
broadband
 and wireless devices. Non-
students
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 using
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 ,which is accounted for 92 % and for
broadband
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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 it is about 82% .On another hand side , undergrads are at the highest proportion for using
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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,which is nearly 98 % and
broadband
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 preference is slightly low than
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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,which is 93 %.
Although
Linking Words
, the percentage of
undergrads
Change the noun form
undergrad
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students
Use synonyms
 who prefer wireless devices is 92 % .
Likewise
Linking Words
 ,Grads
students
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 accounted for 99 %
for
Change preposition
of
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 using
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 . At the same time , they
uses
Change the verb form
use
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broadband
Use synonyms
 at 95 % .
Similarly
Linking Words
 ,community
collegesuses
Correct your spelling
colleges uses
colleges use
internet
Use synonyms
 at 94 % and wireless medium at 85 % The proportion rate is low for
broadband
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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,which is
for
Change preposition
apply
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78 % . community college
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 ,which is accounted for 94%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, internet, broadband with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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