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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents believe that they should protect their children from doing any mistakes while others believe they should make mistakes freely.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In
Change preposition
At
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 a child's early
age
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 learning new
things
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 are very important. A society of
parents
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 claims that
while
Linking Words
 learning anything, it is their responsibility to take care of their infants from not making
mistakes
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, but some feel that they should be allowed to make an uncountable number of
mistakes
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while
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 learning. In my opinion, I believe
mistakes
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 are necessary for a child to understand the value of hard work and help them to learn
each
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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an
Correct your spelling
and
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 everything on their own. In these looming paragraphs, I will discuss both aspects. To commence with, it is a well-known fact that human is an error-making species. Infants are very curious about learning, which opens an opportunity for them to explore more
things
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 at an early
age
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. If the students will be allowed to do anything without the help of their
parents
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then
Linking Words
 they will become independent and learn from their
mistakes
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.
Moreover
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, each individual has to face ups and downs in their life to become successful, as a matter of
fact
Add the comma(s)
,fact
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 if at an early
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age
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,age
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 they are
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
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 in learning from their
mistakes
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then
Linking Words
 they can easily handle any pressure to achieve their goals.
For instance
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, Milkha Sing known as the flying Sikh, at an early
age
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 did not get any
support
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 from his
parents
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 and learned everything from his
mistakes
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 and became the world champion in
400-meter
Correct article usage
the 400-meter
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 race.
However
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, it is an undeniable fact that children are very sensitive in their childhood. Sometimes they get demotivated
from
Change preposition
by
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 so many
things
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 which they have tried and got failed in them. So at
this
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 very sensitive
stage
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,stage
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 the parent's
support
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 plays a major role in helping them to rebuild their mindset to again start learning new skills.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they will not be afraid of doing new
things
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 when they will know that their
parents
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 are always behind them when they will
mistakes
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.
Thus
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,
this
Linking Words
 small initiative will motivate them to experience more fields in their life. In a nutshell, each aspect has its pros and cons.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the youth is very sensitive at an early
age
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 and needs
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support
Add an article
the support
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 of their
parents
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 to stop doing wrong
things
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, I believe, that without the
support
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 of ,
parents
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 children start learning from their
mistakes
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, value hard work, and can easily choose their passion.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overprotection
  • Resilience
  • Adaptability
  • Critical thinking
  • Societal judgment
  • Discipline
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Independence
  • Guidance
  • Balanced approach
  • Fend for themselves
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