Write about the following topic: Of late, it is believed that students studying in secondary school and high school should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this argument? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #students #school #money #life #skill #argument

Our ancestors always said that managing money is an art, and everyone should learn it. For that reason, many believe that pupils should

instruct

Verb problem

learn

show examples

this

art from their school life. I completely agree that early education on cash management makes them financially independent and they could prevent heavy debt and will explain

this

with examples in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence, knowing cash management not only

teach

Correct subject-verb agreement

teaches

show examples

schoolgoers the value of money but

also

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them to plan their future lives. if they learn to manage funds in their early life, they can even start investing and become conservative about their unnecessary expenses, leading them to financial independence when they retire.

For example

, many mutual fund schemes can assist individuals to make crores within 30 years of the horizon by investing consistently.

As a result

, financial literacy and correct education at an early age can make them live freely during their sixties.

Moreover

, funds planning will teach them about debt which is quite necessary for anyone to learn early. Because of

this

education, they would always avoid opting for huge loans, and even if they opt for it, they would know the plan to repay it quickly.

For instance

, many teenagers get carried away from online shopping, and they take credit card loans for their useless buying,

however

this

early knowledge will prevent them from doing so. To summarize, learning the fundamentals of wealth will drive their life in the correct direction, and they will not

require

Wrong verb form

be required

show examples

to suffer from any sort of financial issues.

Therefore

, teaching them a very useful skill like money management can play a vital role in their stable and happy adulthood.

Submitted by MT on Wed Jul 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay to ensure a clear progression of ideas. The essay lacks proper development and the points are not well-organized.

task achievement

The essay provides a partial response to the task. Make sure to fully address all aspects of the prompt and provide more specific and well-explained examples to support the arguments.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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