IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
Recently Tsinghua University has decided to collaborate with the Japanese government on the program of space station exploration, which allows many people to support that sharing as much
information
 as possible in different aspects is beneficial to the development of human beings.
However
, some people disagree that sharing paramount and invaluable
information
 is good for us. As far as I am concerned, we cannot arbitrarily
share
 as much
information
 as possible no matter how important or valuable it is. First of all, some people think that sharing plenty of
information
 in science, technology and business can help to develop many underdeveloped
countries
. Certainly, China has given a hand to many developing
countries
 in recent years. Not only did China help them defend against wars, but China
also
 volunteered to construct thousands of railways and infrastructures by dispatching experts and engineers. We have to admit that sharing
information
 to some limits can advance the development of the world.
By contrast
, others believe that we cannot
share
 any
information
 that we want even if the
information
 is pretty significant and valuable. Why do we have to research and develop some core technologies by ourselves, not with the help of other
countries
? Because other
countries
 don’t hope to see that we manage to learn these technologies by heart since
this
 behaviour decreases the profit they can gain. From my perspective, I definitely agree with
this
 thought. The products manufactured by Germany and Japan are famous for their quality around the world. We racked our brains to learn the technologies from them in the past but the core knowledge was not obtained.
Therefore
, there is not everything we can
share
. In conclusion, we can
share
 as much
information
 as possible to help develop those poor
countries
 but the premise is that the important and valuable
information
 related to our profit cannot be shared freely.
Submitted by ykx20010330 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: