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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows relative price changes for fresh fruits and vegetables ,sugar and sweets and carbonated drinks between 1978 and 2009.summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows relative price changes for fresh fruits and vegetables ,sugar and sweets and carbonated drinks between 1978 and 2009.summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph displays the variation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 fresh fruits and
vegetables
Use synonyms
, sugar and sweets and carbonated drinks between 1978 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, all the costs experienced an upward trend. But, fresh fruits and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 had risen over the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 items.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sugar and sweets, consumer price
index
Use synonyms
 and carbonated drinks showed
Linking Words
similarly
Change the word
similar
show examples
 ascent
between
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
value in three
decade
Change to a plural noun
decades
show examples
. Starting from 1979, fresh fruit and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 rose steadily (60 to 330) until 2009.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 fresh fruits and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 become the highest product because the price had grown more than 250% in 30 years, two times more than the others. Even though was the only category that raised above that consumer-price
index
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, with
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward trend: sugar and sweets, consumer-price
index
Use synonyms
 and carbonated water rose around 150% since 1970 when the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prices
Fix the agreement mistake
price
show examples
 of all products
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 equal.
Although
Linking Words
, the two not essentials products had maintained under the consumer-price
index
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words vegetables, index with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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