IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Media violence encourages violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
media
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 is becoming popular for getting information but it inspires individuals to create violence in society.
Although
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 people might become aggressive to
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
 it , owing to it spread awareness among the general public and individuals get a chance to know about their
rights
Use synonyms
. I will discuss it in the impending paragraphs. On the one hand, it has put a lot of positive effects on the citizens. First and foremost, it can spread awareness among people about social schemes and crime rates . As masses have knowledge regarding what is happening around them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people get a chance to know about their
rights
Use synonyms
 with the help of social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms. Because it can show debate between politicians and the general public about their
rights
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, social
media
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 has put a negative impact on the masses. First of all , it has promoted
the
Correct article usage
apply
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violence through events and programs. To explain it , the
media
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 show actions and fights in the movies.
Therefore
Linking Words
, children can try to follow the same actions in their life ; they might become cruel to others .
For instance
Linking Words
, 25 % of offspring have cruelled
due to
Linking Words
 watching action movies. In view of the arguments outlined above one can conclude that despite the masses
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
becoming cruel, owing to social
media
Use synonyms
 can spread awareness , and know about their
rights
Use synonyms
 as well.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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