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Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of the ground floor of a museum in 1990 and in 2010

#plans #show #layout #ground #floor #museum
The two planes present changes to the
ground
floor
 of a museum between 1990 and 2010.
Firstly
, the most striking alteration was the size of the entrance, which was extended and approximately doubled in size.
Secondly
, the reception was moved
further
 to the right from the museum office and enlarged almost twice the initial size. Another major change was made to the gift shop
area
, a café was built and the
area
 became larger.
Furthermore
, a lift was constructed between the café-gift shop zone and the natural history room. Needless to say, one of the biggest modifications was the replacement of the biggest
area
 on the
ground
floor
, the archaeology gallery. The gallery was split
in
Change the preposition
into
show examples
 two sections, the children’s interactive zone and the poster display
area
.
Moreover
, the statue that was
initially
 located to the left of the stairs, was relocated right
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
ground
floor
. Taken as a whole, the
ground
floor
 of the museum has undergone a number of adjustments between 1990 and 2010.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer introduction that explicitly mentions that you will describe changes to the ground floor layout of a museum between 1990 and 2010.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs. Consider starting a new paragraph when discussing different changes.
task achievement
Add more specific details and comparisons. For example, specify the original and new sizes or locations more precisely.
task achievement
Your essay clearly outlines the major changes that took place between 1990 and 2010.
task achievement
You cover a broad range of modifications, providing a comprehensive description.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and flows well from one idea to the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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