The graphs below depict information about the Expenditure on Health and education in the UAE (% of GDP) between 1985 and 1993, and also infant mrtality and life expectancy from 1970 to 1992

The graphs below depict information about the Expenditure on Health and education in the UAE (% of GDP) between 1985 and 1993, and also infant mrtality and life expectancy from 1970 to 1992
The given bar graph illustrates the proportion of health and
education
spending in the UAE from 1985
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
1993. The line graph shows the
number
of infant
mortality
and
life
expectancy between 1970 and 1992.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that the expenditure on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
was higher than on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health. Meanwhile, the
number
of
mortality
and
life
expectany
Correct your spelling
expectancy
was inverse where
life
expectancy had a
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
trend,
in
contrast
Add the comma(s)
,contrast
show examples
the
number
of infant
mortality
was
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
. Looking at the information in more detail, nearly 8% of
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
used
Add a missing verb
were used
show examples
for health in 1985 and
this
number
fell by around 1% in the next five years. The expenditure
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
education
in the final year was 10%. As regards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
, 10% of spending accounted
in
Change preposition
for in
show examples
1985 and it increased significantly to 14% and approximately 15%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
five years later and in 1993 respectively. With respect to the line graph, 70 cases of infant
mortality
per 1000 births happened in 1970 and
this
figure dropped significantly by 50.
In addition
,
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
expectancy
number
in 1970 was 60 and it increased by 10
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the end of the period.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words education, number, mortality, life with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: