More and more people are using internet to do their tasks rather that doing in person for example shopping bankings hotel bookings. Do you think tha advantage outweigh disadvantage

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Technology has taken a toll on individuals'

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

.So they intend to accomplish their tasks

such

Linking Words

as banking,shopping and hotel bookings online

instead

Linking Words

of performing them by visiting the concerned places.Even though

this

Linking Words

scenario has some adverse ramifications,I believe that the merits of

this

Linking Words

override the demerits and will discuss the rationales to prove my consideration in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand,

this

Linking Words

affects the health of society.To justify, when people perform their tasks like

transfer of

Wrong verb form

transferring

show examples

money and shopping for necessities through the Internet,they become couch potatoes.

Consequently

Linking Words

,it not only increases their obesity level but

also

Linking Words

surges

Verb problem

increases

show examples

the chances of cardiovascular diseases

due to

Linking Words

lack of movement.

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the chances of fraud are more in performing activities online whether it is to transfer the funds or purchase the commodities.

For example

Linking Words

, individuals need to fill in their personal details to send and receive money and to make any bookings.

As a result

Linking Words

, the hackers get unauthorised access to confidential data whether the credit card details or other personnel information and destroy it.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,internet banking, shopping or hotel bookings is a time-saving and-anywhere service.

As the

Correct word choice

The

show examples

conventional methods to perform these tasks are limited to business hours only.

However

Linking Words

, with the help of applications

for example

Linking Words

Amazon ,Flipkart and Urbanic, citizens can order any product anytime

as well as

Linking Words

by sitting at their homes. Which is the more convenient way?

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, can be transferred to the inhabitants who are even on the other side of the globe just with a few clicks. what is more, pre-bookings for the hotels and tickets allow people to enjoy better facilities.

For instance

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, if individuals book the hotels online they provide them facilities

such

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as the preferred decorations in case of parties and occasions which makes their stay more fruitful.

Hence

Linking Words

,performing the jobs online is an effective and efficient way which

saves

Wrong verb form

save

show examples

time

along

Linking Words

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

effort. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

scenario can lead to various frauds and hackings,I

a pine

Correct your spelling

apine

that

this

Linking Words

provides the convenience to people to perform their jobs wear and when they want so

this

Linking Words

amenity can be fruitful provided that these strong passwords and security will be used.

sandhuprabh090Thu Jul 06 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your arguments are logically connected. For example, explicitly mention the advantages and disadvantages in the relevant sections.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition of phrases. Make sure your conclusions tie back clearly to your arguments.

task achievement

Clarify your examples more. Instead of just saying that fraud is a risk, explain briefly how people can mitigate that risk when using online services.

task achievement

Proofread for minor grammatical issues and punctuation errors, such as missing articles, commas, or incorrect prepositions, to enhance readability.

task achievement

The essay has a clear stance and presents both advantages and disadvantages, which aligns well with the task requirement.

task achievement

Good attempt at providing real-world examples, like Amazon and Flipkart, which enhance the relevance of your points.

17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
access
24/7
comfort
time-saving
effort-saving
variety
competitive prices
informed decisions
environmental impact
carbon footprints
pollution
cybercrime
personal information
financial information
hacking
fraud
job displacement
automation
face-to-face interactions
social skills
isolation

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More and more people are using internet to do their tasks rather that doing in person for example shopping bankings hotel bookings. Do you think tha advantage outweigh disadvantage

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

In the developed world, the average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

It has been suggested that primary school children should be taught how to grow vegetables and keep animals. To what extent the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.

The most important aims of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?