Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children's studies. And, those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion on this?
Many parents complain that
computer
Use synonyms
video
Use synonyms
games
have no Use synonyms
significant
to their Replace the word
significance
Use synonyms
children
studies. And, those online Change noun form
children's
video
Use synonyms
games
have a negative Use synonyms
impacts
on their mental Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
as well as
physical development. I totally agree with Linking Words
this
statement.
Linking Words
To begin
with, there are several reasons why I believe that Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
video
Use synonyms
games
can have detrimental consequences on Use synonyms
mental
and physical aspects of Correct article usage
the mental
children
. Regarding mental Use synonyms
health
, Use synonyms
children
who play too Use synonyms
much
online Correct quantifier usage
many
video
Use synonyms
games
can are more likely to develop mental Use synonyms
health
issues namely, anxiety, depression, introvert. Use synonyms
This
is because Linking Words
children
lack Use synonyms
of
face-to-face interaction with their parents and friends, and Remove the preposition
apply
children
live virtual world rather than Use synonyms
real
world. Add an article
the real
Consequently
, Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
video
Use synonyms
games
can Use synonyms
leads
to Change the verb form
lead
decline
Add an article
the decline
a decline
of
Change preposition
in
Use synonyms
children
mental Change noun form
children's
health
,and Use synonyms
then
affect their performance in school negatively, because they find challenges to focus Linking Words
in
their studies.
In terms of physical Change preposition
on
health
, Use synonyms
video
Use synonyms
games
can encourage Use synonyms
children
to adopt Use synonyms
sedentary
lifestyle. To illustrate, Add an article
a sedentary
children
spend too much time in order to play Use synonyms
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
instead
of engaging in Linking Words
outdoors
activities namely football, swimming, Replace the word
outdoor
tennis
, which Correct word choice
and tennis
Linking Words
this
can make them Correct pronoun usage
apply
are
more likely to become obese. Unnecessary verb
apply
A
a result, if the Correct your spelling
As
children
become overweight they will become more likely to exposure to get bullying from their peers in Use synonyms
the
school, which Correct article usage
apply
Linking Words
this
can Correct pronoun usage
apply
impacts
their grades in the school negativelyChange the verb form
impact
,
because they struggle Remove the comma
apply
to
with bullying.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with parents who complain that Change preposition
apply
computer
Use synonyms
video
Use synonyms
games
cannot provide value for their Use synonyms
children
's studies, because Use synonyms
video
Use synonyms
games
impact Use synonyms
children
harmfully in their mental and physical.Use synonyms
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite