Some people believe that sports competition are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore youth should be banned from participating in sports competition. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sporting
events
play a significant role in a youth's life, be
health
Correct pronoun usage
it health
show examples
or career, sports has always been fruitful. Sporting
events
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
undergone umpteenth success stories, stories of converting raw talents into
legend
Add an article
the legend
a legend
show examples
of the game. Presently, it has been a burning issue whether youth should participate in sports
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
or not
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
Here, I will discord with the given statement. Multifarious points are there to shore up my point of view. First and foremost, sporting
events
play
paramount
Add an article
a paramount
the paramount
show examples
role to develop any
player
into a professional
player
. To be specific,
competitions
usually put
players
into
Change preposition
under
show examples
immense
Add an article
an immense
show examples
pressure
situation, winning by coming out of
such
situations
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
show examples
the
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
of any
player
which
further
helps any
player
to shine at
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
level.
Further
emphasising on my point of view, Sporting
events
are the best source to demonstrate the skills of a
player
that he/she posses. To illustrate,
players
try to perform by going out of their skin in
competitions
in order to prove themselves as a convincing
player
by securing
win
Fix the agreement mistake
wins
show examples
. In
this
rate-race of winning,
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
of a
player
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
to an exposure. Adding to it, competition is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
platform for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
youth to learn the spirit of fraternity.
For instance
,
competitions
undergo several ups and downs, at times
players
help each other and even after
match
Correct article usage
a match
show examples
, winning
players
usually
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
to be consoling the defeated
players
which urges the spirit of brotherhood in any
player
. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, others have conflicting views. They believe that,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
competition put
players
under
great
Change the article
a great
show examples
deal of
pressure
,
pressure
of proving themselves as promising
player
,
pressure
Correct word choice
and pressure
show examples
of meeting their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
expectations which usually ruin some
players
Change noun form
player's
players'
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
when they end up
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
side
Correct pronoun usage
their side
show examples
. What is more,
competitions
have noticeably been playing with the health of
players
. To reveal,
players
often try to train themselves at
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
level and usually get hurt in
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
of doing so. It can spell
permanent
Correct article usage
the permanent
show examples
exit of promising
players
to To recapitulate, sporting
competitions
are the key to
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
any
player
into a veteran and a professional
player
.
Hence
, I strongly believe that
competitions
ought to be held In order to transform a simple
player
into a
full
Change the word
fully
show examples
packaged veteran
Submitted by dhanyatomy2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: