IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that sports competition are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore youth should be banned from participating in sports competition. Do you agree or disagree?

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Sporting
events
Use synonyms
 play a significant role in a youth's life, be
health
Correct pronoun usage
it health
show examples
 or career, sports has always been fruitful. Sporting
events
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 undergone umpteenth success stories, stories of converting raw talents into
legend
Add an article
the legend
a legend
show examples
 of the game. Presently, it has been a burning issue whether youth should participate in sports
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
 or not
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 Here, I will discord with the given statement. Multifarious points are there to shore up my point of view. First and foremost, sporting
events
Use synonyms
 play
paramount
Add an article
a paramount
the paramount
show examples
 role to develop any
player
Use synonyms
 into a professional
player
Use synonyms
. To be specific,
competitions
Use synonyms
 usually put
players
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
under
show examples
immense
Add an article
an immense
show examples
pressure
Use synonyms
 situation, winning by coming out of
such
Linking Words
 situations
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
show examples
 the
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 of any
player
Use synonyms
 which
further
Linking Words
 helps any
player
Use synonyms
 to shine at
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
 level.
Further
Linking Words
 emphasising on my point of view, Sporting
events
Use synonyms
 are the best source to demonstrate the skills of a
player
Use synonyms
 that he/she posses. To illustrate,
players
Use synonyms
 try to perform by going out of their skin in
competitions
Use synonyms
 in order to prove themselves as a convincing
player
Use synonyms
 by securing
win
Fix the agreement mistake
wins
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 rate-race of winning,
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
 of a
player
Use synonyms
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 to an exposure. Adding to it, competition is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 platform for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
youth to learn the spirit of fraternity.
For instance
Linking Words
,
competitions
Use synonyms
 undergo several ups and downs, at times
players
Use synonyms
 help each other and even after
match
Correct article usage
a match
show examples
, winning
players
Use synonyms
 usually
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 to be consoling the defeated
players
Use synonyms
 which urges the spirit of brotherhood in any
player
Use synonyms
. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, others have conflicting views. They believe that,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 competition put
players
Use synonyms
 under
great
Change the article
a great
show examples
 deal of
pressure
Use synonyms
,
pressure
Use synonyms
 of proving themselves as promising
player
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
pressure
Correct word choice
and pressure
show examples
 of meeting their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 expectations which usually ruin some
Use synonyms
players
Change noun form
player's
players'
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 when they end up
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
side
Correct pronoun usage
their side
show examples
. What is more,
competitions
Use synonyms
 have noticeably been playing with the health of
players
Use synonyms
. To reveal,
players
Use synonyms
 often try to train themselves at
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 level and usually get hurt in
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
 of doing so. It can spell
permanent
Correct article usage
the permanent
show examples
 exit of promising
players
Use synonyms
 to To recapitulate, sporting
competitions
Use synonyms
 are the key to
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 any
player
Use synonyms
 into a veteran and a professional
player
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
competitions
Use synonyms
 ought to be held In order to transform a simple
player
Use synonyms
 into a
full
Change the word
fully
show examples
 packaged veteran

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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