Some people say that the best way to imporve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Nowadays,
people
are suffering from various diseases
such
as malaria, dengue, skin diseases, heart attack so on. Because of the increase in pollution and unhealthy foods. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
it can be reduced by taking proper actions
such
as banning unhealthy foods, using alternative fuels
such
as hydrogen and increasing
sports
facilities
. Some
people
say that the best way to improve public
health
is by increasing the number of
sports
facilities
. But, others and I believe that
this
would have little effect on public
health
and that other measures are required. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will discuss both views and my opinion.
Firstly
, nowadays
people
are working for long hours in the office and returning to their houses lately. Because of ,
this
they found less time in doing their personal goods
such
as exercise. So, if the
sports
facilities
are there near to the office, they can do their exercise during their free time.
Furthermore
, by doing
this
, it reduces their stress and keeps their mind calm.
Also
, it gives many benefits to their
health
.
However
,
sports
facilities
are not the only way to improve public
health
. There are many measures that have to be considered
such
as having a trash bin
at the end
of the corner of the road to decrease the spread of diseases.
In addition
to that, the government can encourage their residents to plant more trees because it gives more
health
benefits. Apart from that, the authority should penalise the food product which contains harmful chemical adulterants. Both the views put valid points ,
,,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
I believe there are lot of measures to be considered than
sports
facilities
to improve public
health
. To summarise, the
overall
improvement in public
health
is in the hands of the authority and
people
have to cooperate with their administration to have a healthy life.
Submitted by niraikalirajan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: