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Band 7.5

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs enormous government expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Undoubtedly, with modern city development, the argument of whether the government’s budget should be used for renovating old buildings or investing in new construction
such
 as housing and road has been debated. As far as I am concerned, I support
the
Correct your spelling
that
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money
 should be used in building modern structures.
Firstly
, the ancient structure could bring in numerous international tourists;
however
, even though the renovation of old buildings is continuing, the government doesn’t have enough
money
 to revamp all the existing outdated architecture at the same time,
thus
 leading to inconvenience and safety concerns.
For example
, almost all the major cities worldwide,
such
 as Tokyo, New York, London, and so on, have traffic congestion problems, severely wasting their citizen’s time.
Furthermore
, some old edifices cannot even be lived by people because it is unsafe when an earthquake or typhoon happens.
On the other hand
, investing
money
 in brand-new living buildings and traffic construction will significantly benefit the metropolis.
For instance
, after MRT(Mass Rapid Transit) stations were expanded in my city- Taipei- million people took MRT to their workplaces or schools every day, alleviating the traffic jams a lot.
Moreover
, people in major cities still spend a lot of
money
 on refurbishing their houses every year.
Also
,
according to
 the country’s law, each home has a lifespan of 80~90 years, which means individuals cannot live safely after the lifespan and should change their houses.
Therefore
, it is more sensible for the government to spend its budget on new construction rather than renovating old architecture. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, the government shouldn’t splurge its
money
 on old houses whose service life cannot be extended too long.
Submitted by victorhu3022 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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