“Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer”

It is argued that
children
can obtain more knowledge and creativity from entertainment
instead
of books. I completely agree with
this
statement because learning in a pleasurable way
is
Verb problem
makes it
show examples
easier to keep
children
’s interest and different activities contribute them to becoming over-rounded people. One primary benefit of mastering
skills
by attending enjoyable events is that it is easier to become a long-term habit. Entertainment
such
as watching television or playing crosswords can not only subtly improve youngsters' language
skills
, but the joy they feel during the involvement can lead to long-term attendance.
For example
, many young people in North Europe possess a great level of English
due to
the high frequency of accessing English-speaking resources like American dramas and talk shows from an early age.
Besides
, in China, an increasing number of teenagers claim that they are able to master Japanese painlessly through many years watching of Japanese animation. Another merit of engaging in multiple activities is that it helps
children
to develop different
skills
and become over-rounded. Reading is considered a good method to improve
children
’s literacy
skills
and expand their academic horizons.
However
, it is
also
important to cultivate other practical
skills
such
as communication, cooperation and creativity from other events.
For instance
, it is often to see
children
who participate in group sports like football and volleyball are often more successful in their school work because they appear to be more confident with
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
self-esteem than their mates and have more interesting ideas towards their work. In conclusion, I agree that compared with the limited benefit of reading, participating in interesting activities can help
children
to develop better
skills
and creativity, because the joy these games can bring would
extent
Replace the word
extend
show examples
children
’s interests and lead to an over-rounded development.
Submitted by wujita1212 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical development of ideas could be improved to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Your response addresses the prompt well and presents clear, comprehensive ideas. However, ensure that you provide more relevant specific examples to support your points and strengthen your argument.

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