IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries, there are an increasing number of private cars .what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#countries #cars #trend
It is certainly true that In many nations, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
growing
Add an article
a growing
show examples
number
 of private vehicles. There are several merits of an increasing
number
 of private
cars
as well as
 demerits. On the one hand, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 increasing the
number
 of
cars
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our roads.
Firstly
,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the
number
 of private vehicles can create environmental issues.
This
 is because
the
Change to a genitive case
the car's exhaust
the exhaust of the car
show examples
cars
 exhaust
relases
Correct your spelling
releases
 a considerable amount of Co2 emissions to the
atomsphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
.
Consequently
,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the
number
 of
cars
 can contribute to climate change and global warming.
Secondly
,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
number
 of
cars
 can cause traffic congestion, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can make the live in urban and rural areas more stressful. To illustrate, people struggle to arrive
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their destinations namely, workplaces, schools,
universities
Correct word choice
and universities
show examples
.
On the other hand
, there are different benefits of increasing the
number
 of private
cars
. The first advantage,
increase
 the
number
 of private
cars
 can
boosts
Change the verb form
boost
show examples
 the economy of the country.
The
Correct your spelling
This
show examples
 is
due to
 the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
cars
Change the noun form
car
show examples
manufacturers
Replace the word
manufacturing
show examples
 companies can earn a lot of money through
sell
Change the verb form
selling
show examples
 their
cars
.
Therefore
, the governments can earn taxes from
cars
 companies can use these funds to improve other sectors
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 healthcare, education,
roads
Correct word choice
and roads
show examples
. The second advantage
,
Add a missing verb
is, increase
show examples
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
number
 of private
cars
 means every
drivers
Change to a singular noun
driver
show examples
 need to take
driver
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
licences
Fix the agreement mistake
licence
show examples
.
A
Correct your spelling
As
show examples
 a result, governments can make money via
provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
 drivers test for people.
For example
, the Saudi Arabia government run
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 training drivers in order to take
driver
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
 licence, and
then
 the government earn 100 $ from every driver, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
means the government can use these funds to improve
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 sectors.
To sum up
, increasing the
number
 of private vehicles can bring
downsids
Correct your spelling
downsides
downside
 including, environmental crisis,
traffic
Correct word choice
and traffic
show examples
 jams,
however
 ,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 upsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 trend namely, enhance the economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: