IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
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People have different views about whether some specialists should remain in the nation where they completed their courses or should be allowed to
work
Use synonyms
 in other parts of the world.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses both viewpoints and explains why I believe they should be free to be employed by other countries. The reasons why they should stay in the country where they finished the training are because of the spending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 training
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 and the workforce issue. The nation spent valuable resources to nurture them, and it could be a huge cost for turning them into a good professional.
For example
Linking Words
, cultivating a doctor is a costly and time-consuming process and
using
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
 up precious medical resources.
Moreover
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, those countries may experience
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of labour force or
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is a tremendous loss if they leave the state.
For instance
Linking Words
, medical graduates from the UK tend to
work
Use synonyms
 abroad, and the health system is
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a crisis of lacking staff.
However
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, they should be free to
work
Use synonyms
 abroad because they have the right of determining lives. The governments should not force them to remain in the country
due to
Linking Words
 they have their determinations and life goals. It leads to occupational
unsatisfaction
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
 if they
work
Use synonyms
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
 unpleasant environments and eventually quit the position, which is a kind of
wastage
Replace the word
waste
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.
Furthermore
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, other nations may offer better welfare or salary for a job, which means they can get promoted quickly and
high
Add a missing verb
have high
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 job stability.
Overall
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, both sides are supported with good reasons. They should stay in the nation because of the expensive cost of training and
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 lack of workforce.
However
Linking Words
, I consider they should be allowed to
work
Use synonyms
 anywhere they wish because they have
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
autonomy in determining lifestyle and chasing their career goals.
Submitted by imcomc on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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