IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem.

#cities #world #rate #population #decline #quality #life #city #areas #environment #growth
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With an increasing
population
Add a comma
,population
show examples
 there has been a decline in the quality of
life
as a result
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
over-crowding
Correct your spelling
overcrowding
show examples
 and pollution in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
 around the
world
.
This
essay
 will discuss the causes of
this
 ascended growth in
population
, namely easier
migration
, and poor rural living
conditions
.
This
essay
 will
also
 suggest some solutions, namely strict
immigration
 policies and improving rural living
conditions
.
People
 are migrating to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-developed
cities
 faster than ever before.
Additionally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opportunities in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
 have been declining
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
migration
.
This
 is because the
cities
 are
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed
show examples
. They have better job opportunities, facilities, housing, and public transport which makes
life
 easier for
people
.
For example
,
people
 from underdeveloped countries like India are moving abroad and to the major
cities
 of India itself for a better
life
 as most of India has rural
areas
 that do not even provide basic public facilities. These are the causes of the increasing growth in the number of
people
to move
Change the verb form
moving
show examples
 to major and better
cities
 around the
world
 for a better
life
. Some solutions to mitigate the ever-increasing
population
 in the
cities
 are having strict
immigration
 policies and improving the living
conditions
 of the villages. The
immigration
 policies will help filter out
people
 moving to the
cities
 and only
people
 with high potential will be able to do so.
Furthermore
, by improving the living
conditions
 in the rural
areas
people
 will feel less need to migrate to the major
cities
 around the
world
.
For example
, Australia has a well-planned
immigration
 system which helps
people
 migrate to Australia but at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 it
also
 helps the country to boost its economy
as well as
 develop its regional
areas
. In summary, with the problem of the increase in the growth of
population
 in the major
cities
 around the
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 it is necessary to protect the environment and balance the
migration
 of
people
.
This
essay
 has discussed how the under-developed regions have forced
people
 to migrate to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-developed
cities
.
This
essay
 has
also
 suggested how we can overcome
this
 problem by restricting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
migration
 and improving the
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 of the regional
areas
.
Submitted by sakinaakhambatii on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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