IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem.

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With an increasing
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population
Add a comma
,population
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 there has been a decline in the quality of
life
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as a result
Linking Words
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
over-crowding
Correct your spelling
overcrowding
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 and pollution in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
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 around the
world
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.
This
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essay
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 will discuss the causes of
this
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 ascended growth in
population
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, namely easier
migration
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, and poor rural living
conditions
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.
This
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essay
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 will
also
Linking Words
 suggest some solutions, namely strict
immigration
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 policies and improving rural living
conditions
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.
People
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 are migrating to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-developed
cities
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 faster than ever before.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
the
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apply
show examples
opportunities in
the
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apply
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rural
areas
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 have been declining
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
migration
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.
This
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 is because the
cities
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 are
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed
show examples
. They have better job opportunities, facilities, housing, and public transport which makes
life
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 easier for
people
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.
For example
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,
people
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 from underdeveloped countries like India are moving abroad and to the major
cities
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 of India itself for a better
life
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 as most of India has rural
areas
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 that do not even provide basic public facilities. These are the causes of the increasing growth in the number of
people
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to move
Change the verb form
moving
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 to major and better
cities
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 around the
world
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 for a better
life
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. Some solutions to mitigate the ever-increasing
population
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 in the
cities
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 are having strict
immigration
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 policies and improving the living
conditions
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 of the villages. The
immigration
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 policies will help filter out
people
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 moving to the
cities
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 and only
people
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 with high potential will be able to do so.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by improving the living
conditions
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 in the rural
areas
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people
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 will feel less need to migrate to the major
cities
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 around the
world
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.
For example
Linking Words
, Australia has a well-planned
immigration
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 system which helps
people
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 migrate to Australia but at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
 helps the country to boost its economy
as well as
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 develop its regional
areas
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. In summary, with the problem of the increase in the growth of
population
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 in the major
cities
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 around the
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world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 it is necessary to protect the environment and balance the
migration
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 of
people
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.
This
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essay
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 has discussed how the under-developed regions have forced
people
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 to migrate to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-developed
cities
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.
This
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essay
Use synonyms
 has
also
Linking Words
 suggested how we can overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem by restricting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
migration
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 and improving the
Use synonyms
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 of the regional
areas
Use synonyms
.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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